I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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