Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
