I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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