if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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