Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize