I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
