Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
