i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
