I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
