he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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