so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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