My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
