I seem to have left my pride at pride
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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