what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
