flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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