What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
