i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
