Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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