Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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