he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
