Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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