I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
