I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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