so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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