College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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