if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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