I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
