five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
