is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
