No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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