I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
