that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
