Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
