Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
