Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
