you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
