Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
