I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
