It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's official drugs can't kill me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
