I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
