Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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