taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
