If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
