I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
