you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he thought i was a dude.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
