they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
