just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
