I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Actions speak louder than pants.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
