Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

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(315): View more from New York

idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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(734): View more from Michigan

We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."

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(703): View more from Virginia

got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon

(703): View more from Virginia

she was in a cheetah costume

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(240): View more from Maryland

it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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(425): View more from Washington

You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.

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(323): View more from California

Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!

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