pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have demons in me.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
God, I missed his penis.
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