Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
